Everything changes
Bear with me as I sort my thoughts as I write…this will most likely be sorta long and rambly, but aren’t all my posts like that?
Have you ever felt that suddenly, this one year in your life you just magically come into your own on so many levels that it’s kinda scary? I feel like 27 is that way for me. For really the first time in my life I feel like I really know myself and it feels good. Terrifying but good.
I’ve become more confident, but more able to reach out and say “that hurts me”, which I think comes with the confidence thing. I no longer feel like I need to be a door mat to be liked, which was my entire high school experience. I generally don’t worry about sharing my opinion, though I aim for a non-combative style when possible. However, at work, since I’m working in a fairly Red company, I keep my politics a little more low-key. Of course, the company also has a fairly good sized PRIDE network, so they’re becoming a little purpley on the edges.
I’m working on making time for the things that actually bring me joy. Writing, photography and my other creative pursuits. Not a lot of time right now, but I’m taking as much as I can make room for.
I understand my nature (relationship wise) much more than I ever did before. I’m still struggling with how to be me in that regard, while respecting my husband’s feelings. I think this is the hardest part of knowing myself. How do I completly be me, without hurting him? I don’t know that there’s an easy answer for that one, but hopefully we can figure it out.
I don’t know, I just feel good this year and I’m happy with my development. Funny, my 10 year reunion should be next year and I so feel like going, kicking ass and taking names. 
I know this is pretty cheesy like the ugly duckling turning into the swan thing, but that’s what it’s like for me. Never knew that really happened. 
NaNo starts in 31 days. I’m excited. My MC finally told me her name a few nights ago. Her name is Andreja (On-dra-ya), no idea about anyone else, but at least she felt it was time to introduce herself to me. She’s been floating around in my brain a lot the past few weeks, though I’ve minimized my notetaking, but every now and again she pops up with something to tell me. I know how she loses her birth parents, why the couple who raises her does and how her birth parent’s possessions get back into her hands. And actually it wasn’t Andreja who told me her name, it was her mother who whispered it to me. Strange people.